Family feud averted??

A good friend of mine recently reached out to me in distress because she was having difficulty dealing with a family situation and she wanted some advice. She is a much older woman whose son had been incarcerated for nearly 20 years at the time we met, and she was raising his daughter who was a newborn when he got arrested. The mother was not in the picture due to drug abuse.

Fast forward to 2022, her son was finally released from prison and his daughter is now 22 years old. The son moved in with his mother temporarily but soon got a job, his own apartment and seemed to be doing well, however he was unable to develop a good relationship with his daughter. To add to the problem, his daughter's mother somehow came back into the picture, causing a further rift between them.

One day the rift turned into an all-out brawl because the mother wanted to spend the night at their home and the granddaughter strenuously voiced her objections, stating that they were using her grandmother for their own gain. The father got upset with the 'perceived disrespect' that his daughter was showing, and he chastised the daughter.

Suffice it to say, the daughter was not having it because in her opinion neither he nor her 'mother' had the right to tell her anything about anything. All hell broke loose after that, and the conversation turned into a shouting and shoving match between the 'mother' and daughter. Dad was left with a decision to make...

Unfortunately, (at least from the daughter's POV), he chose to intervene by holding the daughter back and causing her to fall. Needless to say, she took that action as a betrayal and began screaming obscenities and stormed out of the house. Police later showed up to the house following a call from the daughter stating that she was assaulted by her parents. The parents told the police that the daughter was extremely aggressive towards them, and they were considering bringing charges against her. Where do we go from there?

After hearing this story from my friend, I was immediately moved with compassion for her but also with empathy for the parents and the daughter. My compassion came naturally, as a mother and grandmother myself, since I knew first-hand how much she went through to raise her granddaughter but also to support her son and await his return during his lengthy incarceration. My empathy for the parents was out of an understanding of how it feels to have a child (even as an adult) to blatantly disrespect you. And finally, my empathy for the daughter came from knowing what it feels like to be betrayed by the person who you felt should be your protector. We chatted for quite a while that evening and I listened to the entire story without judgment (and little to no interruptions) then advised her to have the granddaughter seek legal advice.

Several days later, the son called me to talk. (I had only spoken to him once) I listened to his side of the story (again without judgement), pointed out some things that I thought they should consider, I reminded him of how long it had been since his mother was able to enjoy having her family together and then suggested that the seek family counseling. Further, in my professional capacity, I knew that there was far more involved than what was on the surface, so it would be to everyone's advantage to have several conversations with an intercessory.

To that end, I felt that these initial conversations were a great start in their healing process, and I look forward to hearing how things are going in the future.